Under Construction: A Great 2012
Written on January 1, 2012 by
January Diet Poem
It was the month after Christmas and all through the house
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
and the way I’d never said, “No Thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
“you can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So—away with the last of the sour cream dip,
get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
every last bit of food that I like must be banished
till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie—-not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome and life is a bore,
but isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author: Unknown
The end of the holiday season is near, with only hours to count down before it is officially here. All the party favors, holiday lights, tinsel and ribbon will go away; except that small piece of tinsel or ribbon you will find months later, unexpectedly sometime during this new year. Home never looks so good as it does this time of year, because normalcy has returned (you know the humdrum boring dull look you complained about only months earlier, is back), and what a comfort it is.
Amazing how much preparation goes into these holidays and how exhausting they can be. So let’s go run out and work on returning all of those disagreeable (wtf!!!), too small (haven’t been that size in years), too big (do I look that huge), and oops “very sorry about that” (did not know you gave up liquor?) gifts. More long lines, and personnel that are just so ever loving friendly people whose personality was not a contributing factor to get the freakin’ job they have servicing you.
Now lets not forget the topic we have been avoiding, those New Years Resolutions we made. Remember, the little commitment you made for whatever reason – a little drunk last night, wanted to fit in with every one else, or is it just the thing to do? The resolution you were going to make that you would be able to stick with, like: lose weight, work harder, exercise and get in shape, get involved in saving our planet, limit the time you spend on the Internet, consume less alcoholic beverages, or be a better person. Translation: stop stuffing your face, instead of looking busy at work actually work, exert more body parts other than your fingers on the keyboard of your computer, remember to recycle instead of throwing it in the garbage bin, spend more time with your kids and family rather than being on Farmville, drink at home it is cheaper and don’t be so bitchy!
My resolution this year is not to make a resolution. I am just going to enjoy 2012 and hope it is great compared to 2011. Translation: Although 2011 could have been much worse, it still sucked and wishing 2012 be fantastic!
Happy New Year to All!
Past Thoughts