Written on February 22, 2011 by Mz Gina

Life is a gift, don’t waste it. -Unknown Author

Too often we forget to cherish life. We get caught up in our everyday lives, the humdrum routine, forgetting to appreciate the little things. If we even notice the little things. But what if life was suddenly halted, like someone hit the pause button and you got stuck there. Perhaps, there is not even a recognizable place, then what? Maybe you will get a second chance, maybe you will never know what is gone.

It is hard for me to imagine suffering a heart attack that not only nearly kills you, but the first time you awaken you are on a ventilator and bright lights all around with nothing visibly recognizable, before being sedated. The next venture awake is no better, removing the ventilator is unsuccessful and a tracheotomy leaves this new unrecognizable world with me in it, voiceless. Voiceless, clueless to what has happened, questioning -who are these people and being paralyzed! Visualize being trapped inside yourself. The only screams you hear are those inside yourself; you scream harder and louder, but no one else can hear you. Running, racing and searching, but you can not get out, you can not move it, you try but your arms and legs do not move? How scary and terrifying, life, has become. Questions. Who is in control here, who is in charge, why is this not working, and what has happened? Panic. Help me, and then some more sedation. Finally, awakening and the daily face that stares back, with a look of concern and a strained smile every time you open your eyes, is familiar. So much to ask, so much to say, yet you lay in a world that you can hear all those people around, but can not communicate to them. An opportunity to speak, does not even sound like yourself. More questions. Who are you again? Confusion, anger and frustration. Tests, more tests. Therapy, of this kind -of that kind. Why is it I am not allowed to sit in that chair, over there? What is the big deal? How does a heart attack go to this extreme? Where is my life? I want my life back! There is a possibility the trach is permanent? At last, the ability to sit in the chair, over there! The legs are not the same, you are different, have to relearn to walk? A shower with assistance, a walker to assist with the walking.

Can you imagine watching someone, you love and care about, struggle through all this? Wanting to fix it, longing to help them, trying to make them feel safe while longing to hear those words I love you. Undoubtedly, to hear that said again, must be even more special than the first time those words were ever said.

I bet both the patient and spouse have a new realization about how precious the gift of life is!

Sometimes an accident, injury or health problem just sneaks up on life and in a split second everything is changed, occasionally it is permanent. Once in a while we may regain our ground, but the road home is a long one; it may change the direction you once were headed. If you ever took any of life for granted, and are given that second chance to cherish life, then embrace it; and never take any of it for granted again.

Being a severe asthmatic, who has been out of control far too often to say I am lucky, understands. Whether it is a miracle, Devine intervention or an angel looking over me, I have been blessed to have had more than a second chance to have my life; for which I am truly appreciative of. I love life and cherish: my family, my friends, my home, the love of those around me. But the little phenomenons, I savor and try to share. Like a daffodil in the beginning of spring breaking through dirt, pushing and growing upward. (It’s exciting to watch its’ progress each day!) How about the rolling thunder during a storm with a lightening show, when was the last time you watched the beauty of such a show? When was the last time you listened to the music of the rain? Catch any sunrises or sunsets lately? Smelled the aroma of herb seasoned vegetables roasting, or actually noticed the scent of a candle you lit -perhaps, remember a special moment in time?

The point is do not wait for a second chance that may or may not happen. Seize every moment that you can; maybe even share it and a smile! (Two gifts for the price of one, now that is a bargain!)

You fought to live, now fight to run. Run with your life, but stopping to savor all that life holds near and dear. Always in our prayers.

Filed under Complex-Simplicity, Family, Me, People.
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