Quotes – Set X

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
– Douglas Adams

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
– George Carlin

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
– Jay London

I think serial monogamy says it all.
– Tracy Ullman

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.
– Frank Tibolt

You give my regards to St. Peter, or whoever has his job, but in Hell.
– Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon

A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.
– Unknown

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (1856 – 1915)

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
– Scott Adams

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wide as a man’s head.
– Ambrose Bierce

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
– Evan Esar

Never judge a book by its movie.
– J. W. Eagan

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
– Jeff Marder

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.
– Margaret Bonnano

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
– Margaret Mead

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
– Bertrand Russell

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
– Bob Hope

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
– Helen Hayes

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
– Emo Phillips

I’m dating a woman now who, evidently is unaware of it.
– Garry Shandling

I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.
– Charles M. Schulz



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